Will I Live To See 80???

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.



A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?' He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?



''Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!' Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'



I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'



Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'



'No, I don't,' I said.



He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'



'No,' I said.



He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shit?'

Ever Wonder Where The Term Dick Head Came From

School Projects That Didn't Win

Funny Signs

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
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In a Podiatrist's office:
Time Wounds All Heels.
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals--on Wheels
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At a Proctologist's door:
To expedite your visit, please back in.
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On a Plumber's truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed
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On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!
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On a Church's Billboard:
7 days without God makes one weak.
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.
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At a Towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.
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On an Electrician's truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
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On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push!
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At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
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On a Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.
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On a Fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!
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At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
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At the Electric Company
We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.
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In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in
and get fed up.
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully! We'll wait...
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At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank heaven for little grills.
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And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
Best place in town to take a leak
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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises

Kenny Smith (former NBA player) Jumps Over A Car

Mad TV's - Nice White Lady LOL

My Favorite Restaurant

More Funny Photo's

The Best Fighter Ever - Student Film LOL

WE REMEMBER BERNIE MAC: Comedian/actor dies at 50

It's a sad day in the entertainment world. Chicago comedian Bernie Mac has died at age 50.

"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.

No other details were immediately available and the family asked that their privacy be respected.

Mac suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body's organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which Smith said was not related to the disease.

Ironically, it was just last weekend that rumors flew around that he had passed away. Unfortunately that rumor became reality this morning.

I got the call at 7:45am this morning. I still cant believe it.