Thursday, October 9, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Worry About Your Own ASS
THE Pastor's Ass:
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race
again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of
the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the
next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid
of the donkey, so She sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is, being concerned about public opinion can
bring you much grief and misery. Even shorten your life. So be yourself
and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and
live longer!
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race
again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of
the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the
next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid
of the donkey, so She sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is, being concerned about public opinion can
bring you much grief and misery. Even shorten your life. So be yourself
and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and
live longer!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The 401 - Keg Plan
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
> With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.
> With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
> If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
> If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.
> But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
> This is called the 401-Keg Plan
> With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.
> With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
> If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
> If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.
> But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
> This is called the 401-Keg Plan
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
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