Palin-ese

Do you speak Palinese???

If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'token hire.' If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'game changer.'

Black teen pregnancies? A 'crisis' in black America.
White teen pregnancies? A blessed event.

If you grow up in Hawaii you're 'exotic.'
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential American story. Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're 'unpatriotic.' Name your kid 'Track', you're 'colorful.'

If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're 'reckless.' A Republican who doesn't fully vet his VP pick is a 'maverick.'

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a 20 voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters, spend12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.

However, if you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 9,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.

If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an 'arrogant celebrity'. If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are 'energizing thebase'.

If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are 'presumptuous'. If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a 'shoot from the hip' maverick.

If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are an elitist-out of touch with the real America. If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.

If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an'empty suit'. If you are a part time mayor of a town of 9,000 people, you are an'experienced executive'.

If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are 'extremist'. If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is manmade, you are 'strongly principled'.

If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to for19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you're 'risky'. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the month after you are divorced, you're a good Christian.

If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you 'First dog.' If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you 'beautiful' and 'courageous.'