Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Dirty Joke Of The Week
A little girl walks past her parents room, looks in the keyhole and says to herself, "And this bitch gets mad cuz I suck on my thumb."
Sunday, September 28, 2008
A Girl Can Dream Can't She?
I like to get these things before I have to be asked.
I made some Niman Ranch Lamb tenderloin with garlic, black pepper, and Indonesian soy sauce for dinner. I hope that sounds okay.
Is that the baby? I'll get her.
As long as I have legs to walk on, you'll NEVER have to take out the garbage.
Ooh, look, the NFL playoffs are today. I bet we'll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair.
I know. Lets take you shoe shopping!
Dont want anyone "falling in" in the middle of the night.
I don't have to have a reason to bring you flowers.
Hold that thought a second, I want to pull over to ask for directions.
Job Search
Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (made in Japan) for 6am. While his coffee pot (made in China) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong). He put on a dress shirt (made in Sri Lanka), designer jeans (made in Singapore) and his shoes (made in Korea). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (made in India) he sat down with his calculator (made in Mexico) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (made in Taiwan ) to the radio (made in India) he got in his car (made in Germany) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (made in Malaysia), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (made in BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (made in France) and turned on his TV (made in Indonesia) , and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in.. AMERICA .....
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Who Would You Hire?
You are The Boss... which team would you hire?
With America facing historic debt, multiple war fronts, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, skyrocketing Federal spending, mortgage crises, bank foreclosures, etc. etc
Let's look at the educational background of your two options:
Obama:
Occidental College - Two years.
Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in international relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude
Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
vs.
McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899
Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism
Now, which team are you going to "hire" ?
With America facing historic debt, multiple war fronts, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, skyrocketing Federal spending, mortgage crises, bank foreclosures, etc. etc
Let's look at the educational background of your two options:
Obama:
Occidental College - Two years.
Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in international relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude
Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
vs.
McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899
Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism
Now, which team are you going to "hire" ?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Palin-ese
Do you speak Palinese???
If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'token hire.' If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'game changer.'
Black teen pregnancies? A 'crisis' in black America.
White teen pregnancies? A blessed event.
If you grow up in Hawaii you're 'exotic.'
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential American story. Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're 'unpatriotic.' Name your kid 'Track', you're 'colorful.'
If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're 'reckless.' A Republican who doesn't fully vet his VP pick is a 'maverick.'
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a 20 voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters, spend12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.
However, if you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 9,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.
If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an 'arrogant celebrity'. If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are 'energizing thebase'.
If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are 'presumptuous'. If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a 'shoot from the hip' maverick.
If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are an elitist-out of touch with the real America. If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.
If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an'empty suit'. If you are a part time mayor of a town of 9,000 people, you are an'experienced executive'.
If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are 'extremist'. If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is manmade, you are 'strongly principled'.
If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to for19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you're 'risky'. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the month after you are divorced, you're a good Christian.
If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you 'First dog.' If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you 'beautiful' and 'courageous.'
If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'token hire.' If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'game changer.'
Black teen pregnancies? A 'crisis' in black America.
White teen pregnancies? A blessed event.
If you grow up in Hawaii you're 'exotic.'
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential American story. Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're 'unpatriotic.' Name your kid 'Track', you're 'colorful.'
If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're 'reckless.' A Republican who doesn't fully vet his VP pick is a 'maverick.'
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a 20 voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters, spend12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.
However, if you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 9,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.
If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an 'arrogant celebrity'. If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are 'energizing thebase'.
If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are 'presumptuous'. If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a 'shoot from the hip' maverick.
If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are an elitist-out of touch with the real America. If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.
If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an'empty suit'. If you are a part time mayor of a town of 9,000 people, you are an'experienced executive'.
If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are 'extremist'. If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is manmade, you are 'strongly principled'.
If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to for19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you're 'risky'. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the month after you are divorced, you're a good Christian.
If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you 'First dog.' If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you 'beautiful' and 'courageous.'
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
How Cool Were You in High School?
This is a pretty cool test ! check it out.
This test is based on how cool you were in High School .
What crowd you ran with, etc., it's pretty accurate.
You may want to send it to your friends to see if they've changed.
LET'S SEE IF YOU ARE A COOL PERSON:
http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm
This test is based on how cool you were in High School .
What crowd you ran with, etc., it's pretty accurate.
You may want to send it to your friends to see if they've changed.
LET'S SEE IF YOU ARE A COOL PERSON:
http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm
Monday, September 8, 2008
McCain Joke - Very Funny
Little Johnny
A teacher in New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were McCain fans...
Not really knowing what a McCain fan was, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he decided to be different... again.
Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a McCain fan.'
The teacher said, 'Why aren't you a McCain fan?'
Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Democrat.'
The teacher asked why he's a Democrat.
Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Democrat and my Dad's a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat.'
The teacher asks, 'If your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That would make me a McCain fan.'
I always liked Little Johnny.
A teacher in New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were McCain fans...
Not really knowing what a McCain fan was, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he decided to be different... again.
Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a McCain fan.'
The teacher said, 'Why aren't you a McCain fan?'
Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Democrat.'
The teacher asked why he's a Democrat.
Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Democrat and my Dad's a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat.'
The teacher asks, 'If your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That would make me a McCain fan.'
I always liked Little Johnny.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Husband Of The Year Awards
3rd Place goes to: Greece
2nd Place goes to: Serbia
And the winner of Husband Of The Year is: Ireland
Ahhh........, the Irish are true romantics. Look, he's even holding her hand!!
Honorable mention
Minnesota - three times
2nd Place goes to: Serbia
And the winner of Husband Of The Year is: Ireland
Ahhh........, the Irish are true romantics. Look, he's even holding her hand!!
Honorable mention
Minnesota - three times
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