Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Joke Of The Week
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.. So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.. So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Bed Intruder Cop Show
In order to get this (laugh)...you have to know the history of Antoine Dodson (google him).
Bed Intruder Cop Show - Watch more Funny Videos
Bed Intruder Cop Show - Watch more Funny Videos
Creative Criminals
White bank robber Conrad Zdzierak nabbed wearing black man mask.
A white bank robber fooled cops with an elaborate Hollywood special effects mask that disguised him as a black man.
Police claim Conrad Zdzierak, 30, used the £450 silicon mask in an audacious string of six bank robberies. Five of the raids took place on the same day, April 9th.
Cops in Springdale, Ohio, released CCTV footage from the banks believing they were searching for an African-American male.
But after a tip-off, officers found Zdzierak staying at a nearby hotel.
The interior of his Volvo was splattered in red dye from an exploding ink pack taken from a bank during one of the hauls, police said.
Officers also discovered the sophisticated mask Zdzierak is suspected of using in the robberies.
Lieutenant Michael Mathis admitted police were fooled by the disguise and said he had never seen anything like it.
He said: "The suspect seen in the surveillance photographs and that we were looking for, we believed to be an African-American male.
"The suspect was actually a white male who was wearing an elaborate disguise."
Zdzierak has been charged with the six robberies and is currently being held on a $ 3million bond.
SOURCE: www.thesun.co.uk
A white bank robber fooled cops with an elaborate Hollywood special effects mask that disguised him as a black man.
Police claim Conrad Zdzierak, 30, used the £450 silicon mask in an audacious string of six bank robberies. Five of the raids took place on the same day, April 9th.
Cops in Springdale, Ohio, released CCTV footage from the banks believing they were searching for an African-American male.
But after a tip-off, officers found Zdzierak staying at a nearby hotel.
The interior of his Volvo was splattered in red dye from an exploding ink pack taken from a bank during one of the hauls, police said.
Officers also discovered the sophisticated mask Zdzierak is suspected of using in the robberies.
Lieutenant Michael Mathis admitted police were fooled by the disguise and said he had never seen anything like it.
He said: "The suspect seen in the surveillance photographs and that we were looking for, we believed to be an African-American male.
"The suspect was actually a white male who was wearing an elaborate disguise."
Zdzierak has been charged with the six robberies and is currently being held on a $ 3million bond.
SOURCE: www.thesun.co.uk
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
NBA OR NFL?
36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 ... repeat 71
Cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21currently are defendants in lawsuits,
And 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.
Can you guess which organization this is?
NBA Or NFL?
Give up yet?
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 ... repeat 71
Cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21currently are defendants in lawsuits,
And 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.
Can you guess which organization this is?
NBA Or NFL?
Give up yet?
NEITHER.....it's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Potato Joke
Well,
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other.
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say,'Frito Lay.'
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......
Are you ready for this?
You sure?
OK!
Here it is!
A COMMENTATOR
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other.
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say,'Frito Lay.'
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......
Are you ready for this?
You sure?
OK!
Here it is!
A COMMENTATOR
Monday, November 29, 2010
Leslie Nielsen Dies at 84
Beloved comic actor Leslie Nielsen who starred in 'Airplane!,' 'The Naked Gun' and 'Police Squad' dies at 84.
The funnyman who Roger Ebert once referred to as the "Laurence Olivier of spoofs" passed away after suffering complications from pneumonia.
News of Nielsen's death was reported on Canadian radio station CJOB Sunday.
Nielsen's nephew told CJOB that the actor had been in the hospital in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida for 12 days and that with family and friends by his side at 5:30pm Sunday "he just fell asleep and passed away."
Nielsen also was married to: Monica Boyer, 1950-1955; Sandy Ullman, 1958-74; and Brooks Oliver, 1981-85.
Nielsen and his second wife had two daughters, Thea and Maura.
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