Well,
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other.
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say,'Frito Lay.'
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......
Are you ready for this?
You sure?
OK!
Here it is!
A COMMENTATOR
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Leslie Nielsen Dies at 84
Beloved comic actor Leslie Nielsen who starred in 'Airplane!,' 'The Naked Gun' and 'Police Squad' dies at 84.
The funnyman who Roger Ebert once referred to as the "Laurence Olivier of spoofs" passed away after suffering complications from pneumonia.
News of Nielsen's death was reported on Canadian radio station CJOB Sunday.
Nielsen's nephew told CJOB that the actor had been in the hospital in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida for 12 days and that with family and friends by his side at 5:30pm Sunday "he just fell asleep and passed away."
Nielsen also was married to: Monica Boyer, 1950-1955; Sandy Ullman, 1958-74; and Brooks Oliver, 1981-85.
Nielsen and his second wife had two daughters, Thea and Maura.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Christian Cartoons
Friday, November 26, 2010
Joke Of The Week
A wife was dying, with her husband by her side. She said in a tired voice, "There's some things I must confess."
He says, "Shhh There's nothing to confess. Everything's alright."
The wife says, "No I must die in peace. I fucked yo brother, yo best friend, his best friend and yo father."
The husband says, "I know, thats why I poisoned your ass, now close your eyes!"
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Naughty Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. :)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
More Walmartians
Unknown
Florida
Washington
Indiana
California - This is one tall drink of water!
Oklahoma
Arizona - It’s unfortunate that the one strap that is actually working is the one keeping your hair in place.
Texas - Much like how you can determine a tree’s age by its rings, you can also judge the level of “party” in a person by the length of the mullet.
Florida
Washington
Indiana
California - This is one tall drink of water!
Oklahoma
Arizona - It’s unfortunate that the one strap that is actually working is the one keeping your hair in place.
Texas - Much like how you can determine a tree’s age by its rings, you can also judge the level of “party” in a person by the length of the mullet.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
DRUNK DRIVING
Your Honor, I plead NOT guilty. I did not see a light...and besides, there is no light on that corner. I checked the next morning........
Here's a hard core drinker and one tough Dodge truck!
The driver hit the left turn light and sheared off the light post at the base, and then kept driving on about 2 miles to Squires Four Pub, where he stopped for more beer!!
How impaired do you have to be to NOT notice that you are carrying a stop light? (I Wonder if the light was green?)
The truck was towed about 2.5 miles to the Vernon towing yard, with the light still pinched between the two tow hooks and the bumper bent around it.
It took several good hard pulls with a backhoe to get the pole free.
Here's a hard core drinker and one tough Dodge truck!
The driver hit the left turn light and sheared off the light post at the base, and then kept driving on about 2 miles to Squires Four Pub, where he stopped for more beer!!
How impaired do you have to be to NOT notice that you are carrying a stop light? (I Wonder if the light was green?)
The truck was towed about 2.5 miles to the Vernon towing yard, with the light still pinched between the two tow hooks and the bumper bent around it.
It took several good hard pulls with a backhoe to get the pole free.
Monday, November 22, 2010
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