Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Warning

Best Halloween Costumes 2010

#5   It's morbid and gory.....but they get props for creativity.

#4   We're not sure how to feel about this one....mainly because we cant tell what it is. Is it a turkey head or a knife???? Whatever the case...this is definitely an attention getter so it made the list.

#3 I'm not a fan of Sarah Palins...but if you got the body, this is a hot costume.

#2 This feels a little racist (not sure why).......but its really cute.

#2 This is wrong on so many levels!!! Thats why I love it!!!

My choice for #1 zestiest, extra crispy ghetto fabulous costume of 2010.... Antoine Dodson!!!

Saturday, October 30, 2010


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down . Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers..

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday's like the full moon or the changing of the tides LET IT BE.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, EXPECT an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Golf, Football, Basketball, Hunting or Fishing.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Time To Retire!! LOL

Friday, October 29, 2010

Proofreading Is A Dying Art

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

Thursday, October 28, 2010

President Obama on The Daily Show

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Barack Obama Pt. 1
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorRally to Restore Sanity

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Barack Obama Pt. 2
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorRally to Restore Sanity

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Barack Obama Pt. 3
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorRally to Restore Sanity

Lord Jesus Christ Claims Discrimination

Kanye West More Infulential Than Barack..WTF??!!

Over 500,000 people voted in the survey on and Kanye West was recently voted more influential than President Barack Obama. SMH!!!

1. Jon Stewart
2. Bill Gates
3. Mark Zuckerberg
4. Steve Jobs
5. Kanye West
6. Drew Brees
7. James Franco
8. Elon Musk
9. Jose Mourinho
10. Graydon Carter

Special thanks to and for the picture and info.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

SNL's ' 'The Rent is Too Damn High' Parody

He Said To Me

He said to me ....... I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him ......... You wear pants don't you?

He said to me ....... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him ..........That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart.

He said to me ........What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him ......... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me .......Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .........They don't have time.

He said to me ...... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him ........ I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me ...... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
I said to him ........ They already have boyfriends.

He said to me ..... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said to him ...... A widow.

He said to me .... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him ...... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

President Obama Sings Dionne Warwick's Song

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Affair

New Law

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a 'Women Only' parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota .

Monday, October 25, 2010


Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people..

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Research Confirms That Drinking Gives You The Same Benefits Yoga Does!!!

Position stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.

Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.

Position of total relaxation.

This position, for ankles and back muscles.

Ananda Balasana
This position is great for massaging the hip area.

Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.

Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.

Excellent for back pain and insomnia.

Dog Day Afternoon

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Rent Is Too Damn High!! LOL

Jimmy McMillan at the NY Governor Debate

Is he serious???

Daily Thoughts

Life really boils down to 2 questions...
1. Should I get a dog.....?

2. Should I have children?

No matter what situations life throws at you....
No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem..
Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Have a great day and remember to give thanks....

Cats are so dramatic!

Just When You Thought All The Good Ideas Were Taken