Monday, June 30, 2008

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Friday, June 27, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Off Color - But Funny As Hell

Back in the days of steam ships, only rich white people sailed at sea. One day while sailing , something suddenly happened to the ship. It was about to sink. Terrified, the white folks aboard didn't know what to do. Someone suggested that they do what the Negroes did.. "Pray". Unfortunately, no one knew what to say. So they called Thomas, a black cook on the ship and asked him to pray. Thomas agreed, came up on deck, removed his cap and began like this:

"LAWD one day I wuz hongray, I went to a restrant to git me sumpin' to eat!..An da sign said: FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.

Den, I went to da water fountin to gitme some wauter an da sign said: FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.

Den Lawd, I went to de toilet room and da sign said: FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.

So Lawd Almitee...when dis here big 'ol boat sanks.. let it be: FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.

In yo name I pray,Amen."

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

More Gas Jokes - Can You Say STIMULESS

You have to laugh to keep from balling as the gas prices sore to record high's. Soon I will be back on my bike.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Dumb ASS

A controversial art exhibit was raided and shut down before it could be viewed in NYC yesterday. According to the NY Times blog, "Cityroom," Boston-born performance artist, Yazmany Arboleda, tried to set up a provocative art exhibition in a vacant storefront on West 40th Street in Midtown Manhattan with the title, "The Assassination of Hillary Clinton/The Assassination of Barack Obama." The artist thought his racist views were protected under the Constitution because he was expressing himself through his art. WROOOONG! Not 30 minutes after Arboleda set up the gallery across the street from the New York Times building, police, feds and secret service swooped in to shut the art exhibit down. While police covered the offensive storefront window with brown paper, Arboleda was led away in handcuffs to be 'interrogated'. Arboleda, 27, learned the hard way that freedom has its limits. Later, in an interview, he said, "It's art. It's not supposed to be harmful. It's about character assassination — about how Obama and Hillary have been portrayed by the media." He added, "It's about the media."

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Obama 08!!!


Sunday, June 1, 2008

Bush's Resume


1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520


Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.


I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.


I graduated from Yale University with a low "C" average. I was a cheerleader.


I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas .


I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.


I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My poorest millionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
I am the all-time U.S and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.
More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election)
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one- year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history
I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.


All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice- President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.